Black women face pressure to be the providers for their families — but Kiana Blaylock doesn’t want to work just for survival. She’s redefining Black womanhood for herself.
As a Black woman, particularly a Black woman who was raised by a single mother and who also became a single mother, I COMPLETELY relate to this article. The last line was a total gut punch. My mother worked to provide for my sister and me, but there was little emotional intelligence. Not a lot of nurturing. It seemed being the sole provider didn't allot my mother the opportunity to lavish a lot of emotional care, but I do know she loved us. I made it a point not to be just the caretaker of my kids but a caregiver. To not just tell them but show them how much I love them, even when times were lean. I've remarried and my husband has allotted me the opportunity to be home. It felt very weird at first because as Kiana stated, "Black women are socialized to believe our value is in our output". I felt almost ashamed for a little while not working outside the home as I had some many years before, which included six years in the military. Black women are also socialized to believe we aren't good enough to be cared for, that we must do all of the caring, nurturing and working quite frankly until we die. Thank you for this eye-opening and much needed to the shared point of view.
So happy this spoke to you! Kiana wrote a beautiful essay that shares this important perspective. It's so hard sometimes to do what's right to take care of ourselves or our families, and I'm happy you've been able to overcome those expectations of output and be the caregiver your kids need. I'm sure they're grateful (or will be, if they're not old enough yet to know!) 💖
As a Black woman, particularly a Black woman who was raised by a single mother and who also became a single mother, I COMPLETELY relate to this article. The last line was a total gut punch. My mother worked to provide for my sister and me, but there was little emotional intelligence. Not a lot of nurturing. It seemed being the sole provider didn't allot my mother the opportunity to lavish a lot of emotional care, but I do know she loved us. I made it a point not to be just the caretaker of my kids but a caregiver. To not just tell them but show them how much I love them, even when times were lean. I've remarried and my husband has allotted me the opportunity to be home. It felt very weird at first because as Kiana stated, "Black women are socialized to believe our value is in our output". I felt almost ashamed for a little while not working outside the home as I had some many years before, which included six years in the military. Black women are also socialized to believe we aren't good enough to be cared for, that we must do all of the caring, nurturing and working quite frankly until we die. Thank you for this eye-opening and much needed to the shared point of view.
So happy this spoke to you! Kiana wrote a beautiful essay that shares this important perspective. It's so hard sometimes to do what's right to take care of ourselves or our families, and I'm happy you've been able to overcome those expectations of output and be the caregiver your kids need. I'm sure they're grateful (or will be, if they're not old enough yet to know!) 💖