Welcome to the Healthy Rich podcast, a show about money for misfits!
I’m Dana Miranda, a financial educator and author of You Don’t Need a Budget.
In this episode, I discuss:
🥑 How to find affordable, trans-friendly cities in the U.S.
🥑 How to apply for a passport and prepare for international travel
🥑 How to be ready to move at the drop of a hat
Mentioned in this episode:
Lambda Legal: Identity Documents for Trans, Nonbinary, Gender-Nonconforming, and Intersex People
U.S. Dept of State: International travel requirements
Helene in Between (travel blog/living abroad)
Planet Nomad (digital nomad resources)
5 tips for trans people looking to move to a safer city or state on a tight budget
Queer Money: Top 10 Most Affordable Transgender Friendly Cities
You can always follow the podcast right here via email or Substack, or you can subscribe in your favorite podcast app. The transcript is below. Enjoy!
Transcript:
Welcome to the Healthy Rich podcast, a show about money for misfits! I’m Dana Miranda, a certified educator in personal finance and author of YOU DON’T NEED A BUDGET: STOP WORRYING ABOUT DEBT, SPEND WITHOUT SHAME, AND MANAGE MONEY WITH EASE.
In today’s show, I’m talking about how to prepare your finances for a big move and, if you have to, relocate without notice.
I’m answering this question from a Healthy Rich reader:
I'm trans and living in one of the worst anti-trans states. How much cash do I need on hand in case I need to leave the state — or the country? In fact, how does one relocate at the drop of a hat?
Let’s break this down. The costs and processes of relocating vary wildly depending on what you want to do.
You’re going to come to hate listening to this podcast because of how often I’ll say this, but: I can’t give you a specific number or formula, because the amount of money anyone needs depends on their circumstances.
But let’s talk about the things you’ll want to prepare for and how money might support that.
Apply for a passport
First of all, I’m doing this myself and recommending to everyone right now: If you don’t already have a passport, get your application started. You get a passport through the U.S. Department of State, and applications take at least a couple of months to process, so it’s useful to get your application started now so you don’t have to pay extra to expedite it if you decide in the future to leave the country.
Note that Trump signed an executive order in January that suspends gender marker changes or requests for the “X” gender marker on passports. I’ll link in the show notes to a page from Lambda Legal that has some great guidance on this issue. In short, if you already have a valid and unexpired passport, it remains valid with whatever gender marker, including “X.” If you’re applying for a new one, the gender marker on your application will most likely have to match your sex assigned at birth and must be “M” or “F.”
If you have to apply for a new passport or renew an expired one, check out that page from Lambda Legal to see your options. If you don’t want to get stuck with a passport that has the wrong gender identity listed, I’ll talk later in this episode about moving domestically, which might feel safer and more affirming right now.
The ACLU is challenging that executive order (among many others), and Lambda is keeping their information up to date, so you can check in there to see if your passport options change.
So here’s some basic information on getting a new passport:
You can get a full passport book, which currently costs $165 for adults and lets you travel anywhere. Or you can get a passport card, which looks like a driver’s license or state ID. It costs $65 for adults and lets you travel to Canada, Mexico, the Caribbean and Bermuda by land or sea only.
Part of your passport application is also a passport photo, which comes with an additional cost, because it has to meet specifications. You can usually get your photo from private companies in your area. I was able to get mine through my county clerk’s office for a $35 fee.
To get a passport, you have to be able to show your U.S. citizenship and a photo ID. If you’ve had a legal name change, you also have to show a record of that. So, for example, I used my birth certificate for my proof of citizenship, which had my birth name on it. A few years ago, I had my last name changed with a court order, but before that, I’d been married and had my ex-husband’s last name. So I used my marriage certificate to show the name change from my birth certificate to my married name, then the court order to show my change from my married name to my current name, which is on my photo ID.
I’m sharing all of this detail in part because I’ve just gone through the process myself, but also because this can all take time and money.
If you don’t have a certified copy of your birth certificate, you’ll have to contact the right agency in your area to get it. If you’re in the same state you were born in, start with your current county’s register of deeds. They’ll let you know whether they can get you a copy or whether you have to go directly to the county where you were born. If you live in a different state, contact the county you were born in. This will almost certainly come with a fee, and you can probably get the birth certificate mailed to you. When I got a copy of my birth certificate, I think it cost about $20.
You might have to go through a similar process to get any other documentation you need if your name has changed. For me, I had to get a certified copy of my marriage certificate, which cost about $20.
If you were born outside the United States and don’t have a previous passport, you’ll need a certificate of naturalization or citizenship, or a CRBA record of your birth abroad.
If you want to change your name before getting a passport, you can do that, too; just get the ball rolling now. When I did my legal name change, I had to schedule the court date about two months out, and the fee was around $100 or $200. Once you have that settled, you can apply for a passport with your correct name. A name change is unrelated to the gender marker on your ID, so you could get a passport with your correct name, even if you can’t use your correct gender marker.
Having a passport is useful, because it gives you the option to leave the country whenever you decide to. And they’re good for 10 years, so getting a passport now will get you through the final Trump term and beyond. A passport book or card also counts as a federal ID, so you can use it to fly domestically once that becomes required, which is supposed to go into effect May 7 of this year. And you can use it to vote in states that require proof of citizenship.
Leaving the country
If you do want to leave the country, how you do it depends on your long-term plans. You can travel to most places outside the U.S. for a short trip without a visa, but usually if you’re going to stay longer than 90 days, you’ll need some kind of travel visa. And if you’re going to work or go to school in another country, you’ll need a specific visa for that, too.
I’ll share a link in the show notes to the State Department to learn about the travel requirements for specific countries.
Mexico and Canada are usually easier for Americans to travel to than other parts of the world, so if your goal is strictly to get out of the U.S., those are probably good places to start.
I haven’t traveled internationally, so I can’t speak much to what you can expect for costs — especially if you’re not going for touristy reasons. But you can find a ton of information on different destinations from travel writers and digital nomads who have lived and traveled outside of the U.S. I’ll link to some options in the show notes.
Moving to another state — without notice
But let’s talk about moving to another state, and especially doing it without much notice, because that’s something I have a LOT of experience with. Throughout my 20s, I lived and traveled all over the U.S., and I had hardly any money the entire time.
Earlier this year, I wrote a piece for Business Insider to help trans people move to a safer city or state without a lot of money, and I’ll share that link in the show notes.
To start, get a lay of the land around the country. Which states and cities have the best protections and the most welcoming communities for trans people? AND, to balance that, which cities are both safe and affordable?
The Queer Money Podcast last year put out a list of the Top 10 most affordable trans-friendly cities in the U.S. (I’ll link to that, too). They looked at trans-specific data points from the Municipal Equality Index by the Human Rights Campaign and the Anti-Trans Risk Assessment Map by Erin Reed, and their own findings from a previous list they made of affordable gay cities.
This list is a really helpful reference, because we know a lot of LGBTQ+ friendly states and cities are also some of the most expensive places in the country to live — like San Francisco, Chicago or New York.
But a lot of other states have either enacted specific protections for trans people or have at least NOT enacted some of the awful attacks on trans people we’re seeing around the country. And those states have smaller cities that have thriving LGBTQ+ communities that are much cheaper to live in than those major cities everyone thinks of first.
Queer Money’s list includes:
Rochester, NY
Syracuse, NY
Albany, NY
and Buffalo, NY
Champaign, IL
and Rockford, IL
Baltimore, MD
Duluth, MN
Racine, WI
and Milwaukee, WI
I also have to make a plug for Madison, Wisconsin, which is about as affordable as Milwaukee and has a thriving LGBTQ+ community. It also sits in Dane County, which has some of the most robust social services available in the state, which is something I don’t think the affordability list looks at but probably should.
If that were a factor, you’d probably see some west coast cities make the list. Places around Seattle and Portland, or the just outside of San Francisco, are more expensive than those on this list, but you’re going to find a strong network of support for trans folks and a lot of social services you could tap into to deal with that high cost of living.
I’d love to hear your suggestions for cities, too! Especially if you’re queer or trans, let us know where you live, or a place you love, and why people should move there. Lots of safe states have small towns and cities that are safe and welcoming for LGBTQ+ folks, but they’ll never show up on any lists.
And if you’re in the south or a particularly bad state like Texas or Florida, I’d love to know where LGTBQ+ people in your area find safe community. I know places like St. Petersburg, FL, and Austin, TX, have thriving LGBTQ+ communities that might be the best option for folks who can’t get out of those states just yet.
Find the show notes for this episode at healthyrich . co and add your ideas in the comments!
Getting an idea of where you might move to will help you figure out how much money you want to build in your comfort fund for the move.
I can say I have moved with NO money saved, and it’s possible, but a lot more difficult. When I moved to Florida for a job in 2015, I had no savings, so I moved into a hotel when I got there. I was able to get by, because I had that job and I was getting a regular paycheck. But the cost of living week to week like that is so high that it’s hard to get out of. I was making enough money to pay rent somewhere, but I couldn’t afford the high cost to get into an apartment in the first place. I ended up borrowing money from family so I could get moved into an apartment. I was able to pay it back within a week as soon as I got my next paycheck — but I just couldn’t get ahead with the cost of that hotel.
That’s the biggest cost you have to worry about if you’re moving, even if you move at the drop of a hat. If you’re renting, you’ll choose a place with monthly rent you can afford with your resources, but don’t forget the extra move-in costs, too. Most places make you pay an application fee of like $100, and then you have to pay basically three times the monthly rent before you move in — first month, last month and a security deposit.
Quick note: I’m assuming you don’t own a home based on the question, but if you do: Getting it on the market is a good idea to set yourself up to move without notice. It’ll hopefully put a chunk of cash in your comfort fund, and it’s much easier to move out of a rental with short notice than to deal with a property you own.
So, as a renter, if you feel like you can safely take time to build some savings, I’d say you want to aim for around three times the rent you expect to pay. Look at rentals in your target city at Apartments.com to get an idea of that monthly rent, and set your comfort fund target to three times that.
Some places will require less to move in, but I haven’t encountered anywhere that requires more than that. I do know that if you want to rent in New York City, you almost always have to hire a broker, which isn’t typical almost anywhere else. So that’d be an added cost specifically for that city, but if we’re looking at the smaller cities, that’s not the case.
If you have a lot of wiggle room for savings, you can certainly save more to make the move more comfortable. Think about:
Hiring movers or renting a truck.
Buying new furniture and art for your new place.
Eating out a little more than usual while you pack and move and get settled in.
Paying for deposits or installation fees for new utilities, like internet and cable service.
But if you don’t have that wiggle room and you really need to get out of the place you’re in now, you could honestly skip town, get into a cheap sublet or rent a room from someone, and sleep on an air mattress for a while. Or, like I did moving to Florida, you can get into a motel for a bit — just know that that’s one of those things that’s more accessible in the short term but that can lock you into higher costs for the long term.
If you have friends or acquaintances in other parts of the country, consider crashing with them for a while so you can get settled, too. This is a good time to reach into your network to line up any folks who would be willing to let you stay on their couch or in a spare room if you need it. You can also try the Quouch app, an invite-only queer couch-surfing app to connect with folks in the community while you travel.
You certainly deserve more comfort than anyone’s couch or an air mattress, but since you’re asking “How much cash do I need?” I want to emphasize that you don’t have to reach any specific, financially responsible number to make a move that sets you on your way to a safer, more affirming and overall better life.
Don’t be afraid of debt
Because you’re asking “How much cash do I need?” I also want to point out that you can use debt to make this move.
If you don’t already have a comfort fund but you have access to credit cards or a line of credit, those could be your ticket to a better living situation, too.
In my money map, when I list my debt resources, I don’t include them in my calculation of my monthly resources — I just use my income and community resources for that. But I do list my debt resources — credit cards, a home equity line of credit, a random business line of credit I have floating out there — and I keep an eye on that total available credit as a resource for various goals or emergencies.
I know debt is scary for a lot of people. But as a financial educator, I will tell you debt is not nearly as detrimental to your life as living in a community that’s downright hostile to you because of your identity. You truly can get yourself into any debt situation you need to to get into a safer community, and you will recover financially.
I’ll link to a Healthy Rich article about dealing with credit card debt in the show notes to help you get an idea of how that recovery might look — if you look at debt as a resource available to live the life you deserve to have, you can really expand your options and use debt without any judgment or shame.
If you already have a credit card or multiple cards open, write down your available credit and add it up, so you know how much you could spend on a move — you might even be able to put rent on a credit card at a lot of places, so a significant credit limit could help float you for quite a while.
If you don’t already have any credit, can you apply for a card or two? Applying for a ton all at once would probably hurt your credit score temporarily, which might not be great if you have to go through a credit check for an apartment, so keep that in mind. But applying for one card and, if you’re accepted, maybe one more, could seriously boost your available resources for a move.
Speaking of a credit check… That’s pretty common in an apartment application, but don’t let it scare you. They’re mostly looking for unpaid bills. If you have no credit or a low credit score because of student loan debt or medical debt or something, that’s not likely to hurt you in an apartment search. And, again speaking from experience, I got into an apartment with a credit score of about 520 back in the day, and it just meant I couldn’t get the discount they offered on a security deposit.
One more thing
One more thing to consider if you move to another state is that costs for things like health insurance might change.
I’m going to say confidently that if you live in an anti-trans state, the Medicaid options there are probably worse than they will be when you move to a more trans-friendly state, so hopefully this is a change that actually helps you instead of hurts. But, look into it, in case I’m wrong.
If you’re relying on services your state administers, like Medicaid or unemployment benefits, prepare for those to change. Research your options in the new state, so you can make your financial plan accordingly.
tl;dr
I know I haven’t offered a clear answer to “How much cash do I need on hand?” in order to move, so here’s the tl;dr for today:
If you’re in a place where you feel at risk, redirect your financial energy toward getting somewhere safe. If you don’t have the resources to continue to support any other financial goals right now, that’s OK. Pause on paying down debt or saving for retirement. Those are truly trivial in this moment.
If you need to leave now, or at any point you need to relocate at the drop of a hat, you might have to do it without having your finances totally prepared. That’s also OK. It might not be luxurious, but it’s doable.
If you do have space to really save and make a plan, ideally you’ll sock away at least three times what you expect to pay for rent, plus a few hundred dollars extra for random moving costs. Ballparking based on rent in some smaller trans-friendly cities, if it were me, I’d set a comfort fund target of $4,000 to $5,000 for a totally easy and stress-free move. But you could get by on much less! (Or you might want more, if you want to live in an expensive apartment or buy fancy furniture — this is why I don’t usually give a number!)
If you have access to credit, consider that a resource. If you don’t already have a credit card, apply for one to expand your resources in case you need it.
If you want to move out of the country or at least be prepared to, get to work gathering your documents now to apply for a passport. That’s going to cost you another $100 or $200 all in and will take at least a month but probably more like three or four.
As far as securing your safety as a trans person for the future, I’m optimistic that we’ll continue to have safe states in the U.S. We benefit from a federated country where states have a lot of power. That’s bad for a lot of reasons, but it also means it’s tough for some shitty people at the national level to overcome civil protections set at the state and local levels. Trump just happens to be very loud and particularly shitty, so it can be tough to imagine any safe spaces in a country where he’s the president — but they’re still there. Legislators around the country do continue to fight back and create sanctuaries against the minority in this country that want to hurt vulnerable people.
But I’m not a trans person or an expert on trans issues, so I’ll let you decide what feels truly safe for you. I’ll also direct you to Erin Reed’s Erin in the Morning newsletter for updates on trans legislation and issues that affect your life as a trans person, so you can filter through the noise and keep up to date with what’s going on.
OUTRO
What one financial topic do you wish you knew more about? What would help you have a better relationship with money? Submit your question to guide a future episode!
Check the show notes at healthyrich DOT co for a form to submit your questions. And while you’re there, sign up for the Healthy Rich newsletter to be the first to know when we drop something new.
Share this post