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Megan Cain's avatar

Thanks for putting voice to some complicated issues around marriage related to gender, finances, and success.

The beautiful thing about marriage is that you can make your partnership into your own little experiment that doesn’t have to follow what capitalism and the patriarchy says it should look like. What do you and your husband want your marriage to be?

Wondering if/how combining finances would have a positive effect on how you feel about things? My husband and I have both taken career breaks, part time and lower paid work over the years. There’s no way we would have been able to do that if we didn’t have combined finances. I know it’s not for everyone, but for us we feel that we’re stronger as a team sharing financial resources - the pot belongs to both of us equally, no matter how much we’ve each put in.

As someone who has been married for 17 years I’ve found that there is no “fair share” in reality. Marriage and life ebbs and flows, sometimes I’ve contributed more money and less manual labor of cooking, cleaning etc, sometimes the opposite. The same for my husband. There are many things besides money that go into running a household.

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Caitlin Faas's avatar

Thank you for sharing, Lisa. I spent five years in Blacksburg, so when I see, "Roanoke," the next thing that comes out of my mouth is, "the big city!" :)

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