This post had two things in particular that I feel I hold in my head, but not my heart.
"Divesting isn't the only way to reject a system." As a Black woman, I've also often been annoyed at BIPOC money advice that's entrenched in the "system". But I KNOW it's working for a lot of people and appreciate the sense of security it brings. I think my own experience struggling to become a homeowner also feeds into my annoyance. And I also know that we are TIRED, and it's much easier to just do the typical thing.
The second was "Work isn't an ethic." Again, I KNOW that a person showing up to a job daily has nothing to do with their worth, but find it hard to hold close, especially in relation to myself. I've been out of work for a few months (initially to deal with burnout), and now my brain is screaming that I have to be working yesterday or else I'm wasting my life. You'll also notice that these two things can be pretty closely related.
Thank you for always bringing up something deep for me to think about. I really appreciate your willingness to question your own beliefs.
Well this was something I needed to read at the exact moment it appeared in my feed. Thank you for this - and excited to check out the book! I've been doing a lot of thinking around habits, in my yoga teaching I'm working on content to support consistent yoga (bringing the theory into all life, not just doing the poses). I've also used Atomic Habits as a reference but intuitively felt it wasn't quite right. The desire for change doesn't always have to be advancing in something... it could be retreating. When thinking about habits they seem to be attached to having more, very true in financial habits. We want more money so we create a habit to get there. I could keep going down this rabbit hole but I'll wrap it up here. Thanks for the great read and thoughts.
Are you and @danamiranda familiar with the two different types of change? There's technical and adaptive change.
Technical is where the what and how are already "known" - you can google them essentially (how to get the best deals at a store, running a 10k, etc). This is where Atomic Habits can be helpful.
But more emotional goals, like money and food (my wheelhouse) are adaptive challenges meaning the actual problem and goal is initially unclear and there is no known solution and thus habits to build...yet.
Traditional habit building like Atomic Habits make no sense because the "automatic thinking" actually backfires to the "complexity fitness" needed to work through the challenge like money, food, or any other emotionally loaded goal!
I figured since you were intuiting that something wasn't complete with Atomic Habits, you'd appreciate it! There's just so much more nuance and context than willpower and having complete control or the most control over your schedule, which most of the people writing the behavior change books have!
The more caretaking responsibilities and less control over your day, the more a different approach is needed.
Very encouraged to hear that the book you wrote was not the book you proposed -- this is a fear of mine as I start to think about writing a book, bc in a creative sense, as someone who has found I have to write to figure out what I’m writing, and that the work reveals itself to you through the process, making a proposal of a book that doesn’t exist yet seems so absurd to me?? I guess it speaks to some very fundamental differences between business and art
I also write to discover what I’m writing, but for a project the size of a book, the proposal was helpful to give me direction and give me a place to start whenever inspiration was lacking.
This post had two things in particular that I feel I hold in my head, but not my heart.
"Divesting isn't the only way to reject a system." As a Black woman, I've also often been annoyed at BIPOC money advice that's entrenched in the "system". But I KNOW it's working for a lot of people and appreciate the sense of security it brings. I think my own experience struggling to become a homeowner also feeds into my annoyance. And I also know that we are TIRED, and it's much easier to just do the typical thing.
The second was "Work isn't an ethic." Again, I KNOW that a person showing up to a job daily has nothing to do with their worth, but find it hard to hold close, especially in relation to myself. I've been out of work for a few months (initially to deal with burnout), and now my brain is screaming that I have to be working yesterday or else I'm wasting my life. You'll also notice that these two things can be pretty closely related.
Thank you for always bringing up something deep for me to think about. I really appreciate your willingness to question your own beliefs.
Thank you so much! I appreciate you drawing the connection between these two ideas — you're so right.
Well this was something I needed to read at the exact moment it appeared in my feed. Thank you for this - and excited to check out the book! I've been doing a lot of thinking around habits, in my yoga teaching I'm working on content to support consistent yoga (bringing the theory into all life, not just doing the poses). I've also used Atomic Habits as a reference but intuitively felt it wasn't quite right. The desire for change doesn't always have to be advancing in something... it could be retreating. When thinking about habits they seem to be attached to having more, very true in financial habits. We want more money so we create a habit to get there. I could keep going down this rabbit hole but I'll wrap it up here. Thanks for the great read and thoughts.
So glad this piece found you!
Yes, habits seem to be attached to striving for more; I love this point!
Are you and @danamiranda familiar with the two different types of change? There's technical and adaptive change.
Technical is where the what and how are already "known" - you can google them essentially (how to get the best deals at a store, running a 10k, etc). This is where Atomic Habits can be helpful.
But more emotional goals, like money and food (my wheelhouse) are adaptive challenges meaning the actual problem and goal is initially unclear and there is no known solution and thus habits to build...yet.
Here's a brief overview if you're interested: https://postgraduateeducation.hms.harvard.edu/trends-medicine/adaptive-leadership-making-progress-intractable-challenges
Traditional habit building like Atomic Habits make no sense because the "automatic thinking" actually backfires to the "complexity fitness" needed to work through the challenge like money, food, or any other emotionally loaded goal!
This is interesting, and makes a lot of sense. Thank you for sharing.
I figured since you were intuiting that something wasn't complete with Atomic Habits, you'd appreciate it! There's just so much more nuance and context than willpower and having complete control or the most control over your schedule, which most of the people writing the behavior change books have!
The more caretaking responsibilities and less control over your day, the more a different approach is needed.
Gosh I loved this so much. So many parts. I'll have to come back and read it again later, and to pick up some more of those books. Thank you!
That’s wonderful, thank you!
I'm sharing your quote on Twitter! @juanaflor1975
Cheers and thanks again!
Thank you for sharing!
Very encouraged to hear that the book you wrote was not the book you proposed -- this is a fear of mine as I start to think about writing a book, bc in a creative sense, as someone who has found I have to write to figure out what I’m writing, and that the work reveals itself to you through the process, making a proposal of a book that doesn’t exist yet seems so absurd to me?? I guess it speaks to some very fundamental differences between business and art
I also write to discover what I’m writing, but for a project the size of a book, the proposal was helpful to give me direction and give me a place to start whenever inspiration was lacking.
Thanks for the mention I enjoyed this!
This feels empowering and enlightening at the same time. I’m looking forward to reading your book Dana when it comes out.
Thank you, Linn!
Thank you taking into consideration of us neurodivergent folks 😊