- That minimalism was morally better, when really it was the kind of minimalism that said to throw all your stuff away because 1) circumstances never change so what you need now is all you'll ever need, or 2) if you do need it later, you can always buy it again.
- That (see again: morally better) I should spend my time making, rather than my money buying, hygiene and body-related products.
- That in order to be a good person aligned with my values of loving animals -- all animals, collectively and individually -- I should only buy vegan-friendly products of all kinds.
So much guilt. So much shame. So much fear. I do none of those things now and turns out I'm still a good person.
🤔 I believed that I could be enough of a Minimalist to raise 2 boys in a camper. After just 2 summers of camper life (never made it full time) I knew it was NOT for me. But I still love following travel blogs. It turns out I like having a home.
I also used to believe in "good debt" vs "bad debt" (like somehow student loans were more righteous than a camper payment???) But, I have come to the conclusion that debt may be just part of life sometimes.
A decade ago mid-century modern core had me in a chokehold! I still love that era, but I'm glad it doesn't dominate my home in the way it once did. I think it was about a decade ago that the Robin Hood investing platform and its peers really started getting going - I opened an account without knowing what I was doing - it made my taxes really complicated the following year!
I think I bought into the idea that you can make long term plans as if the world you currently lived in would be similar to the world you would live in a decade ahead. But I realize as I grow older that the game and the rules can change completely in a decade or overnight (pandemic) and unless you just really hit some "born to the right people at the right time" lottery, chances are you'll have to rethink all of your plans and learn to play a new game at different points in life. And that is really hard especially as you age. It's unsettling to look at a new world and realize you don't know how to navigate it even though you've been around for 47 years.
I probably cry more than I laugh at this. Let's just say that the girlbossing work 5 hours a week make 6-figures and travel the world dream really stuck with me. I'm still unraveling from it. Many people are, while far too many people are still selling the dream.
I fully bought into it! And I cry a little about it, too, because I thought I'd actually made progress toward that reality until Trump and the pandemic happened (and then Trump again...) and it became clear that it was always a fragile goal.
10 years ago I was still buying into a lot of weight loss culture stuff and probably wasting a fair bit of money to lose weight that would (inevitably, as science has now proven over and over again) come back.
I was also still in the thick of raising kids, working a full time job, and finishing my phd. In hindsight, I was so determined to finish my phd as fast as I could and to borrow as little student loans as I could that I refused to slow down or pull back at work at all. It was way too much and I wish I had let myself have a little more breathing room. I would have been better served to work less, I think.
Ten-years-ago me bought into a lot of bullshit:
- That minimalism was morally better, when really it was the kind of minimalism that said to throw all your stuff away because 1) circumstances never change so what you need now is all you'll ever need, or 2) if you do need it later, you can always buy it again.
- That (see again: morally better) I should spend my time making, rather than my money buying, hygiene and body-related products.
- That in order to be a good person aligned with my values of loving animals -- all animals, collectively and individually -- I should only buy vegan-friendly products of all kinds.
So much guilt. So much shame. So much fear. I do none of those things now and turns out I'm still a good person.
So much moralizing! I definitely went through this phase, too. Good to name your values; not so great to constantly judge yourself on them.
afuckingmen
I thought I would be able to keep working FT forever, until 7-01-2015, when I was laid off from my job as editor of a daily paper.
Turns out it’s extremely difficult to pivot to another career if you’re 50-ish.
I didn’t manage it.
🤔 I believed that I could be enough of a Minimalist to raise 2 boys in a camper. After just 2 summers of camper life (never made it full time) I knew it was NOT for me. But I still love following travel blogs. It turns out I like having a home.
I also used to believe in "good debt" vs "bad debt" (like somehow student loans were more righteous than a camper payment???) But, I have come to the conclusion that debt may be just part of life sometimes.
Debt is absolutely just part of life sometimes!
"It turns out I like having a home" made me happy for you. 🏡
A decade ago mid-century modern core had me in a chokehold! I still love that era, but I'm glad it doesn't dominate my home in the way it once did. I think it was about a decade ago that the Robin Hood investing platform and its peers really started getting going - I opened an account without knowing what I was doing - it made my taxes really complicated the following year!
Mid-century modern core lol!
I think I bought into the idea that you can make long term plans as if the world you currently lived in would be similar to the world you would live in a decade ahead. But I realize as I grow older that the game and the rules can change completely in a decade or overnight (pandemic) and unless you just really hit some "born to the right people at the right time" lottery, chances are you'll have to rethink all of your plans and learn to play a new game at different points in life. And that is really hard especially as you age. It's unsettling to look at a new world and realize you don't know how to navigate it even though you've been around for 47 years.
💖💖 That's exactly how I've been feeling as we keep tumbling into a "new world" over and over again since the pandemic, in particular.
Oh my god, just, fucking YES to all of this.
I probably cry more than I laugh at this. Let's just say that the girlbossing work 5 hours a week make 6-figures and travel the world dream really stuck with me. I'm still unraveling from it. Many people are, while far too many people are still selling the dream.
I fully bought into it! And I cry a little about it, too, because I thought I'd actually made progress toward that reality until Trump and the pandemic happened (and then Trump again...) and it became clear that it was always a fragile goal.
10 years ago I was still buying into a lot of weight loss culture stuff and probably wasting a fair bit of money to lose weight that would (inevitably, as science has now proven over and over again) come back.
I was also still in the thick of raising kids, working a full time job, and finishing my phd. In hindsight, I was so determined to finish my phd as fast as I could and to borrow as little student loans as I could that I refused to slow down or pull back at work at all. It was way too much and I wish I had let myself have a little more breathing room. I would have been better served to work less, I think.
So much budget culture AND diet culture saddling you with obligations :(