22 Comments

I love the deeper analysis you give us here, Dana. It is a form of self-punishment for no substantive (or any) reason.

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Thank you!

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I have had the exact same insight reach me in the exact same way. I punished myself with a cracked phone screen for months before I realized what I was doing! Let's bask in the reflective clarity of our new screens.

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Thank you for sharing this! Glad I'm not alone, and glad you noticed what you were doing. What a wonderful lesson to learn.

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Mar 25Liked by Dana Miranda

My insidious budget culture in this regard that came up in my throat reading this was “noooooo yoooouuu caaan geeeet a uuuuseeed ooooonneee…..”

There are very valid reasons to buy used and to buy new- and one does not have to deserve a new one over a used one.

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Great awareness!

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Mar 25Liked by Dana Miranda

This resonates with me! I feel like I’d do the same thing. Also, a case and screen protector will go a long way in helping prevent a tragedy with your next phone. My last phone died the same way yours did (well, it didn’t really die, but it became very difficult and dangerous to use). If something were to happen to my current phone, I’d replace it, but I wouldn’t buy a new one. I’d definitely get one of the certified pre-owned ones via Verizon (or somewhere else online) - not because I don’t *deserve* a new one, but because new phones are stupid-expensive, and I’d rather spend that money on something else.

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Yay to naming your values!

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Oh the fun mythologies and propaganda we internalize about money! If you can't afford something, it must be because you're doing it wrong, or not working hard enough, or your budgeting isn't hardcore enough...

This reminds me of how I felt when I learned that the average homeowner has a net worth 44x that of the average renter. I was like, damn! That must be the "right" thing to do. I need to start working toward that goal! But buying a home doesn't make you rich...it's just that people who buy houses tend to already be rich.

It's a reflection of the system and generational wealth more than it is of the individual effort/actions/behaviors we take.

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Yes! I feel the same whenever I hear the statistic that people with bachelor's degrees earn X% more income than those without. It's not necessarily causal. There are so many built-in privileges that make it easier to earn a college degree, and those same privileges make it easier to get a well-paying job.

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So appreciate this reflection, Dana! I automatically get myself a phone protector because I've been known to be "hard on devices." Some call it reckless. Others call it a Gemini rising brain that loves to multi-task. So I've gotten the protectors as insurance unapologetically knowing that in the long run, it pays off for me. There's a strong temptation to beat myself up about carelessness too. But then my self-compassion training kicks in and says "Everyone makes mistakes. Congrats - you're human!" Then I pick out a delightful phone protector in a favorite color and call it an investment in my peace of mind. ☮️

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I do hope you get a new phone! But I would add another dimension: the compulsion and pressure to upgrade regularly is helping to destroy the planet. So - well done you for holding onto the perfectly we working phone for so long, until it actually broke. Then saying goodbye. That’s a good ethical model all round.

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Thank you! I’d like to see these companies better regulated so their production of what’s become essential products and services isn’t based on exploitation of people and planet.

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Mar 27Liked by Dana Miranda

I have been noticing how restrictive thoughts come up through my eating and in the past year in how it comes up in regards to money. One was my tablet that I had for 8-9 years. It still worked but it was slow, the battery hardly lasted and the updates stopped. It became painful and nuance using it. It felt like tech companies were deciding for me when to purchase a new tablet. This one still "worked"! Something I hear all the time in regards to technology and expect it to last a lifetime or at least as long we think it should. Technology unfortunately doesn't work like that. It's constantly evolving, changing, updating and getting better each time. The phone cameras we have access to now are amazing. I decided to stop punishing myself like the mindset my parents had use it until it breaks or rather until it breaks me haha.. I'm very thankful I got a new tablet and I use it all the time.

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“Or until it breaks me” is so right!

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I feel the same way. Thanks for writing this.

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Mar 25Liked by Dana Miranda

Interesting. I do tend to crack my phone periodically and often run with it for awhile. Why do I do keep it? For me it’s an environmental guilt- phones take a lot of resources to make and mining is nasty business. I also think new phones are a rip off, even though I can afford one, so I always order refurbished from Backmarket. Then I don’t feel so bad when I wreck my phone.

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I hope you don't feel too much phone-consumer guilt! That's not your burden to bear 💖

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Vain android girl here, the moment I dropped my phone and it cracked I would make a B-LINE to the nearest phone store and fork over the money for a new one. I couldn't bare the taunting of the spiderweb cracked across my screen, but that's just me. HAHA!! Glad you're getting a new phone...you deserve it!

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Thank you! I can't bear the taunting, either 😵‍💫

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I’m starting to get uncomfortable with this phrase we all use “you deserve it!”. This isn’t aimed at you personally Kristin.

I looked up the meaning if ‘deserve’ just now and Oxford Languages says

“do something or have or show qualities worthy of (a reaction which rewards or punishes as appropriate).”

Which feels like maybe restriction is showing up here too?

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