Thank you so much for diving deeper into this. I’ll admit it’s still a lot for me to wrap my brain around, but ultimately, I think that my advice to clients is similar - *why* do you want to buy the thing/clothing? If it’s because it brings you joy, you need clothes that fit, it’s your creative outlet, great. I suggest pausing if you’re buying bc it’s not actually your choice (ie being influenced), or as you say it’s filling an underlying issue, although of course, sometimes we cope by buying just as we do with food and that’s ok. The caveat I feel the need to add with money is: as long as you can
You’ve written before about the parallels between budget culture and diet culture. I imagine in the early days of removing a budget, one might initially overspend in the “no rules,” new found freedom, just like someone transitioning to intuitive eating, but with time the novelty wears off and the spending comes down to a reasonable level.
That said I’m not sure I’m practicing what you preach fiscally. I don’t have a budget, but I gut check non-necessary purchases and go by “feel” and use whether overall spending is up or down as part of my decision making.
Found you via a link from Virginia Sole-Smith's excellent Burnt Toast newsletter.
Dacy had a post in which she discussed making an "enough list" that I found really helpful (https://dacygillespie.substack.com/p/discussion-thread-on-decluttering/comments). I may have "enough" winter turtlenecks, as an example, but do I have enough variety in colors to feel happy when I consider my choices in the morning? Defining my own "enough" will be an exercise in mindfulness--one I haven't been able to do because I'm temporarily out of my house while it's being remodeled, but I look forward to doing this as part of settling back in. For now I use the question "Do I have enough of [whatever this is]?" as a pause to reflect.
I'm a huge fan of my neighborhood's Buy Nothing group. It builds community, we give and receive in a spirit of generosity, and I can be as impulsive as I like in saying I want a new hat when the hat is freely given. I also find it easy to give things away because they'll take on a new life with someone else. It's very anti-capitalist in spirit and is another way of reducing consumption without reducing the enjoyment of getting something new-to-you.
Really love that you’ve pulled apart consumption from spending here, Dana—it’s a thought-provoking reframe that, frankly, I hadn’t thought nearly enough about!
I think the practice of spending consciously is a practice. Which means it takes time and mistakes and practice. I've also feel that just in general we as humans don't do well when there are no boundaries. A blank piece of paper is daunting and when the past paper had all the neat rows of a budget I think we crave some structure. And leaning into the structure of actually listening to what you want and need is a weak muscle for a while. But I also think that the best structure isn't restrictive, it's right-sized and flexible enough to be both supportive and dynamic.
Very thought provoking post. I have never had a budget and never gone on a diet. I was fortunate to be raised by parents who instilled good values around both of these areas. We were not deprived but there were certain restrictions. Both parents were alive (very young) during the depression, and my father served in WW2. My point being they were very conscientious about spending money. We were taught at a very early age to set something aside in savings and had chores we were responsible for to earn an allowance. We were encouraged to babysit to earn money and took on part-time jobs when we were old enough. With regards to food, we eat healthy meals, and dessert and sugary beverages were for special occasions. These things became habits that I've continued well into adulthood. Agree with you. If there is overconsumption perhaps there is a deep need/motivation going on.
Thank you so much for diving deeper into this. I’ll admit it’s still a lot for me to wrap my brain around, but ultimately, I think that my advice to clients is similar - *why* do you want to buy the thing/clothing? If it’s because it brings you joy, you need clothes that fit, it’s your creative outlet, great. I suggest pausing if you’re buying bc it’s not actually your choice (ie being influenced), or as you say it’s filling an underlying issue, although of course, sometimes we cope by buying just as we do with food and that’s ok. The caveat I feel the need to add with money is: as long as you can
You’ve written before about the parallels between budget culture and diet culture. I imagine in the early days of removing a budget, one might initially overspend in the “no rules,” new found freedom, just like someone transitioning to intuitive eating, but with time the novelty wears off and the spending comes down to a reasonable level.
That said I’m not sure I’m practicing what you preach fiscally. I don’t have a budget, but I gut check non-necessary purchases and go by “feel” and use whether overall spending is up or down as part of my decision making.
Hear hear! Perfect post. Our relationship with money is so fraught with everything other than using it as a neutral tool to forge the lives we want.
Found you via a link from Virginia Sole-Smith's excellent Burnt Toast newsletter.
Dacy had a post in which she discussed making an "enough list" that I found really helpful (https://dacygillespie.substack.com/p/discussion-thread-on-decluttering/comments). I may have "enough" winter turtlenecks, as an example, but do I have enough variety in colors to feel happy when I consider my choices in the morning? Defining my own "enough" will be an exercise in mindfulness--one I haven't been able to do because I'm temporarily out of my house while it's being remodeled, but I look forward to doing this as part of settling back in. For now I use the question "Do I have enough of [whatever this is]?" as a pause to reflect.
I'm a huge fan of my neighborhood's Buy Nothing group. It builds community, we give and receive in a spirit of generosity, and I can be as impulsive as I like in saying I want a new hat when the hat is freely given. I also find it easy to give things away because they'll take on a new life with someone else. It's very anti-capitalist in spirit and is another way of reducing consumption without reducing the enjoyment of getting something new-to-you.
Really love that you’ve pulled apart consumption from spending here, Dana—it’s a thought-provoking reframe that, frankly, I hadn’t thought nearly enough about!
I think the practice of spending consciously is a practice. Which means it takes time and mistakes and practice. I've also feel that just in general we as humans don't do well when there are no boundaries. A blank piece of paper is daunting and when the past paper had all the neat rows of a budget I think we crave some structure. And leaning into the structure of actually listening to what you want and need is a weak muscle for a while. But I also think that the best structure isn't restrictive, it's right-sized and flexible enough to be both supportive and dynamic.
Very thought provoking post. I have never had a budget and never gone on a diet. I was fortunate to be raised by parents who instilled good values around both of these areas. We were not deprived but there were certain restrictions. Both parents were alive (very young) during the depression, and my father served in WW2. My point being they were very conscientious about spending money. We were taught at a very early age to set something aside in savings and had chores we were responsible for to earn an allowance. We were encouraged to babysit to earn money and took on part-time jobs when we were old enough. With regards to food, we eat healthy meals, and dessert and sugary beverages were for special occasions. These things became habits that I've continued well into adulthood. Agree with you. If there is overconsumption perhaps there is a deep need/motivation going on.