‘Money will find its way back to me’

Financial therapist Rahkim Sabree on overcoming financial trauma, embracing abundance and appreciating the joy of a big purchase

A lot of us have a secret career path we imagine ourselves taking if we weren’t doing what we do. Mine is becoming a therapist. I’m sure there are plenty of messy reasons why, but let’s just assume it’s because I’m interested in helping people. After years of working in personal finance, I learned “financial therapist” is a real job, and — while I’ll let it remain a fantasy for me — I’m obsessed with the profession and have enormous respect for financial educators who pursue this path.

Rahkim Sabree

is one of the first financial therapists I followed, because he talks specifically about a subject we rarely see in personal finance media: financial trauma. Rahkim is an award-winning financial therapist, Accredited Financial Counselor with AFCPE, speaker and author with a background in banking. He’s dedicated to helping underserved communities challenge traditional views of financial freedom and personal growth, and he’s writing a book about financial trauma for Wiley Publishing that I can’t wait to buy!

What role does trauma play in our relationships with money that we don’t often acknowledge? What do you see financial experts and educators getting wrong when it comes to talking about financial trauma?

Depending on how we define trauma, it plays a huge role in our relationship with money. Attachment issues, scarcity, perceptions on power, authority and safety can all be tied into our relationship with money. When we can grasp that around 80% of our financial decisions come from an emotional base and that those emotions can be skewed by our everyday traumas, there is almost no line of separation.

Many financial educators and experts might talk about financial trauma from a lens that is not trauma informed. What that looks like is taking the very real pain someone may have navigated and turning it into a buzz word to market and sell to them, which perpetuates the cycle of trauma. I believe it’s important to discuss financial trauma as financial educators, but not to weaponize that trauma in a way that further traumatizes the subject.

Additionally, I believe some educators minimize the impact and validity of financial trauma in their work because they don’t feel they have experienced it or haven’t experienced it to the degree of someone in their audience. Again, this points to the need for trauma informed education and not just using the buzz words.

What’s the most joyful thing you’ve done with money in the past six(ish) months?

I recently purchased a new-to-me iPad Pro with the magic keyboard and Apple Pencil Pro. I’ll be honest, I felt a bit of guilt on the splurge, but I felt so fortunate to be in a place where I could do it. I was celebrating multiple wins in my business and personal brand, and I legitimately needed the iPad for my work — a win-win. It is by far my favorite piece of tech right now and gives me so much joy in creating, writing and entertaining myself. I also plan to use it with clients for workshops and surveys.

What messages did you get about money growing up? Which have you held onto and which have you let go?

I was always told to save and be responsible with money, but I witnessed patch jobs and band-aid solutions to issues that required spending money. Subconsciously I still struggle with being OK with paying the full price for something or getting it done right the first time instead of getting it right right now. Although I’ve made progress with that mentality and rely on it as a survival mechanism, I can feel how easy it is to revert to penny pinching when I feel a bit of financial stress.

I’ve heard things like “money doesn’t grow on trees” or “do you have (insert object of desire) money?!” which signals that money is scarce and limited to me. I’ve released those messages and have embraced an abundance mindset that says money will find its way back to me and that it’s plentiful if I know where to look.

How do various facets of your identity impact your work and finances?

I grew up on the poverty line with multiple interests and talents I was not able to pursue because of a lack of money. I believe those experiences have forged in me a bit of a financial activist in a sense, advocating first for myself but also for others who may have similar experiences to my own.

As I’ve grown both personally and professionally, I believe my values and integrity show up in the way I run my business and pursue opportunities. I don’t view myself as being a victim or at the mercy of anyone’s will or kindness, but I can acknowledge where systemic barriers exist and how I may have to learn to navigate those obstacles either head-on or in a roundabout way.

What’s one financial decision that frequently causes you stress? How do you work through it?

Paying my mortgage. Of course, so much of my idea about security is tied into where I live. As an entrepreneur who started my journey during the pandemic, nothing is guaranteed. Some months I know I’m going to be alright, and others might have me sweating a bit. One of the things I remind myself is to express gratitude in the moments I can pay my mortgage with ease and to remember that I’ve been here before in the moments where I feel stress. I’ve been able to make it work for almost four years now.

Besides yours, what newsletter do you most recommend and why? Who is it best for?

The Scott Scheper Letter! It is one that I read in fine detail, because I pay almost $100 a month for it! This newsletter is analog in a sea of digital newsletters, so it is shipped directly to my door once a month. The author talks about copywriting and marketing strategies for people who want to be better readers, researchers and writers. It has absolutely nothing to do with money and I SWORE to myself when I saw the price that I would not subscribe or that I would immediately cancel my subscription, but here I am probably five or six letters in and still loving it!

Instead of talking about the weather, what do you wish strangers would ask you about when you meet on the street?

I wish more strangers would ask me what I do for work! I get a thrill when I tell people I’m a financial therapist and their eyes get big as they ask, “What is that?!” I think having that conversation will normalize not only the profession but also the work involved, opening people up to dialogue around their own relationships with money and who they might see if they wanted to improve it.

Follow Rahkim through his Substack

Overcoming Financial Trauma

.

---

✍️ Support diverse writers! I pay interviewees for their contributions to Healthy Rich, and I’m able to do that because of your subscriptions. This newsletter is reader-supported and ad-free, and I intend to keep it that way. If you appreciate these perspectives and want more of this, please consider supporting Healthy Rich with a paid subscription — your first year is just $35. Thank you!!

---

Get the bundle