‘Money will find its way back to me’
Financial therapist Rahkim Sabree on overcoming financial trauma, embracing abundance and appreciating the joy of a big purchase
My friend Rahkim Sabree’s new book, Overcoming Financial Trauma, is out today!! In the book, Rahkim writes about effective financial education that acknowledges systemic barriers, using mindfulness and financial therapy to address financial traumas, and how to reframe your financial failures from the personal shortcomings our culture tells you they are.
To celebrate this day with Rahkim and to help you identify and address your own financial trauma, I’m giving away two hardcover copies of Overcoming Financial Trauma to Healthy Rich readers!
I’m re-running a Q&A below that I did with Rahkim last year, so you can get to know him better. To enter the giveaway, leave a comment for us on this post by 11:59 p.m. on Tuesday, Nov. 25. I’ll randomly choose two commenters before Friday, Nov. 28, and reach out to you via email to get you your copies.
‘Money will find its way back to me’
Originally published Dec. 2024.
Rahkim Sabree talks about a subject we rarely see in personal finance media: financial trauma. Rahkim is an award-winning financial therapist, Accredited Financial Counselor with AFCPE, speaker and author with a background in banking. He’s dedicated to helping underserved communities challenge traditional views of financial freedom and personal growth.
What role does trauma play in our relationships with money that we don’t often acknowledge? What do you see financial experts and educators getting wrong when it comes to talking about financial trauma?
Depending on how we define trauma, it plays a huge role in our relationship with money. Attachment issues, scarcity, perceptions on power, authority and safety can all be tied into our relationship with money. When we can grasp that around 80% of our financial decisions come from an emotional base and that those emotions can be skewed by our everyday traumas, there is almost no line of separation.
Many financial educators and experts might talk about financial trauma from a lens that is not trauma informed. What that looks like is taking the very real pain someone may have navigated and turning it into a buzz word to market and sell to them, which perpetuates the cycle of trauma. I believe it’s important to discuss financial trauma as financial educators, but not to weaponize that trauma in a way that further traumatizes the subject.
Additionally, I believe some educators minimize the impact and validity of financial trauma in their work because they don’t feel they have experienced it or haven’t experienced it to the degree of someone in their audience. Again, this points to the need for trauma informed education and not just using the buzz words.
What’s the most joyful thing you’ve done with money in the past six(ish) months?
I recently purchased a new-to-me iPad Pro with the magic keyboard and Apple Pencil Pro. I’ll be honest, I felt a bit of guilt on the splurge, but I felt so fortunate to be in a place where I could do it. I was celebrating multiple wins in my business and personal brand, and I legitimately needed the iPad for my work — a win-win. It is by far my favorite piece of tech right now and gives me so much joy in creating, writing and entertaining myself. I also plan to use it with clients for workshops and surveys.
What messages did you get about money growing up? Which have you held onto and which have you let go?
I was always told to save and be responsible with money, but I witnessed patch jobs and band-aid solutions to issues that required spending money. Subconsciously I still struggle with being OK with paying the full price for something or getting it done right the first time instead of getting it right right now. Although I’ve made progress with that mentality and rely on it as a survival mechanism, I can feel how easy it is to revert to penny pinching when I feel a bit of financial stress.
I’ve heard things like “money doesn’t grow on trees” or “do you have (insert object of desire) money?!” which signals that money is scarce and limited to me. I’ve released those messages and have embraced an abundance mindset that says money will find its way back to me and that it’s plentiful if I know where to look.
How do various facets of your identity impact your work and finances?
I grew up on the poverty line with multiple interests and talents I was not able to pursue because of a lack of money. I believe those experiences have forged in me a bit of a financial activist in a sense, advocating first for myself but also for others who may have similar experiences to my own.
As I’ve grown both personally and professionally, I believe my values and integrity show up in the way I run my business and pursue opportunities. I don’t view myself as being a victim or at the mercy of anyone’s will or kindness, but I can acknowledge where systemic barriers exist and how I may have to learn to navigate those obstacles either head-on or in a roundabout way.
What’s one financial decision that frequently causes you stress? How do you work through it?
Paying my mortgage. Of course, so much of my idea about security is tied into where I live. As an entrepreneur who started my journey during the pandemic, nothing is guaranteed. Some months I know I’m going to be alright, and others might have me sweating a bit. One of the things I remind myself is to express gratitude in the moments I can pay my mortgage with ease and to remember that I’ve been here before in the moments where I feel stress. I’ve been able to make it work for almost four years now.
Besides yours, what newsletter do you most recommend and why? Who is it best for?
The Scott Scheper Letter! It is one that I read in fine detail, because I pay almost $100 a month for it! This newsletter is analog in a sea of digital newsletters, so it is shipped directly to my door once a month. The author talks about copywriting and marketing strategies for people who want to be better readers, researchers and writers. It has absolutely nothing to do with money and I SWORE to myself when I saw the price that I would not subscribe or that I would immediately cancel my subscription, but here I am probably five or six letters in and still loving it!
Instead of talking about the weather, what do you wish strangers would ask you about when you meet on the street?
I wish more strangers would ask me what I do for work! I get a thrill when I tell people I’m a financial therapist and their eyes get big as they ask, “What is that?!” I think having that conversation will normalize not only the profession but also the work involved, opening people up to dialogue around their own relationships with money and who they might see if they wanted to improve it.
Show your support and enter to win a free book!
Have you heard of financial therapy before? What about financial trauma? What are you interested in learning more about in your relationship with money? Leave your comment for Rahkim and me below, and be entered to win a free copy of Rahkim’s new book, Overcoming Financial Trauma.
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I really relate to all the emotions tied up with our history with money. Like feeling that I can’t pay full price, or shop for what I really want or need instead of limiting myself to what is on sale. Middle-aged me can suddenly feel like poor teenage me, feeling afraid to go in the “nice” stores because the shopkeepers will size me up and decide I don’t belong and I’m just there to shoplift. I’ve never heard anyone articulate these feelings as financial trauma. Fascinating!
Of all the various sources of trauma, I think financial trauma may be the one most difficult to overcome because it's seldom talked about and it's inescapable. You can distance yourself from a dysfunctional family, start a different career, and talk about your childhood for years, but it's nearly impossible to go an entire day without dealing with money in some way. And when you have financial trauma, it means facing that trauma daily with little to no support.