Money date No. 32: Wallowing in the portal

Finding zen in mid-life, new shoes and more tax debt

Note: The YDNAB audiobook is just $5.99 through the end of September for Audible members! I narrated the book myself, and I’m grateful for this discount to give you a chance to hear it without forking over $20+ to you-know-who 💖

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I’ve been listening to the Culture Study Podcast interview with Jen Hatmaker about mid-life reinvention, and boy, do these conversations ring true at near-40 years old. The destabilization of rediscovering yourself after being an adult for two decades is… terrifying. Exhausting. Confusing. Expensive. Blinding. And I don’t even have kids! And I got the marriage and divorce thing out of the way in my 20s! I’m feeling gut punched just from the internal chaos of mid life. Those of you weathering it with kids and marriages on the brink, my heart goes out to you.

These are the moments I wish I had like a $100,000 nest egg instead of about $20,000. The latter makes me feel safe, but more would make me feel free. Free to try and fail things like I did when I was younger. Our lives are set up for self-discovery and invention in our 20s and again in our 60s — but what about rediscovery and reinvention in our 40s? Where are the back-to-school student loans? Where are the tidy, quiet, 40-something roommates who can split rent?

My parents’ generation called this a mid-life crisis, and real transformation was only available to anyone who had money to lose on it. I’m happy with the rebranding — but now that it’s more common to recognize the upheaval of this season, we’re left to figure out how to wade through it without any guideposts.

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💡 Inspired by a Healthy Rich contributor, a money date is an exercise I crafted for You Don’t Need a Budget. Subscribers can follow along in a private space after the paywall, and I encourage you to steal my questions to guide your own reflections!

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What’s the most joyful thing you did with money this week?