I love this ice-breaker, what a fun idea! I was writing endless letters to my best friends (we had already spent the whole day together, but there was so many feelings at this age!)
I relate so much to feeling like you're always in "caretaker mode" — there's this invisible weight of being the one who notices what needs doing, who remembers the thing that needs buying, who worries about whether everything is handled.
I appreciate this post and enjoyed Laura's book. These two responses from the interview made me smile:
"I've been making intentional financial shifts to better align my spending with my values. I unsubscribed from streaming platforms and service subscriptions and added a 24– to 48-hour waiting period before making purchases to curb impulse buying."
"I still closely monitor my income and debt and adjust my lifestyle to make sure my spending aligns with my values and feels sustainable in the long term. I absolutely cannot stand the idea of wasting money. I want it to be useful."
A useful reminder for men that what shapes us is different than what shapes men, and we need to keep in mind the unfair pressures women feel that stem from toxic "cultural norms."
"Even in my household, with no children and a feminist partner, my brain defaults to caretaker mode so strongly that I have to leave town to (kind of) turn it off."
I worry that citing a study that found the value of unpaid labor and caregiving required to run a home is $178,201 can be counterproductive. If money is that important to someone, they're likely to balk at a figure that high, making the person who shoulders more of the home labor feel even more disrespected.
If any human being tries to quantify your value as a person in your relationship with money, then you're not the problem; that person is the problem.
I learned in my Certified Financial Therapist training that folks who are so narrowly focused on associating money with humanity have problems that require professional intervention.
I suppose, as a former public school teacher, when I read anything that connects income to value, this is what speaks most to me (watch to the end): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGKm201n-U4
I love this ice-breaker, what a fun idea! I was writing endless letters to my best friends (we had already spent the whole day together, but there was so many feelings at this age!)
I'm absolutely stealing this ice breaker!
I relate so much to feeling like you're always in "caretaker mode" — there's this invisible weight of being the one who notices what needs doing, who remembers the thing that needs buying, who worries about whether everything is handled.
So hard to articulate!
I appreciate this post and enjoyed Laura's book. These two responses from the interview made me smile:
"I've been making intentional financial shifts to better align my spending with my values. I unsubscribed from streaming platforms and service subscriptions and added a 24– to 48-hour waiting period before making purchases to curb impulse buying."
"I still closely monitor my income and debt and adjust my lifestyle to make sure my spending aligns with my values and feels sustainable in the long term. I absolutely cannot stand the idea of wasting money. I want it to be useful."
A useful reminder for men that what shapes us is different than what shapes men, and we need to keep in mind the unfair pressures women feel that stem from toxic "cultural norms."
"Even in my household, with no children and a feminist partner, my brain defaults to caretaker mode so strongly that I have to leave town to (kind of) turn it off."
I worry that citing a study that found the value of unpaid labor and caregiving required to run a home is $178,201 can be counterproductive. If money is that important to someone, they're likely to balk at a figure that high, making the person who shoulders more of the home labor feel even more disrespected.
If any human being tries to quantify your value as a person in your relationship with money, then you're not the problem; that person is the problem.
I learned in my Certified Financial Therapist training that folks who are so narrowly focused on associating money with humanity have problems that require professional intervention.
I suppose, as a former public school teacher, when I read anything that connects income to value, this is what speaks most to me (watch to the end): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGKm201n-U4