Managing changing values around work and money with Kathy Oneto
A conversation for the Sustainable Ambition podcast about how to maintain balance when what you want out of work and life has changed
Too often, the advice we receive around money is black-and-white, as if we all live the same lives with the same resources, values and needs.
In reality, it’s always more complicated.
You can see an example of the nuances in this question a Healthy Rich reader sent in:
Since leaving a full-time design firm I co-owned from 2006 to 2015, I’ve been on a spiritual and creative journey supported by my equity buyout, modest self-employment income and passive income streams.
That equity has now run out, and my current income doesn’t fully cover my basic needs. I’ve started pulling from my IRA to cover rent, music, gear and courses that feel essential to my deeper calling. I wrestle with guilt and fear around this because early withdrawals go against traditional financial advice, but every attempt to increase income through conventional work or online hustle feels deeply misaligned. It drains me.
I feel shame, especially around my girlfriend’s family who value hard work, grit and personal responsibility. Those are values I once lived by, but it led to burnout and depression, and now I value truth, love and freedom. I’m starting to call myself semi-retired in order to justify myself to them, but I realize I shouldn’t have to do that.
I wonder, what do you make of the situation?
Traditional advice might jump straight to: “Cut these people off. They don’t support you. Don’t worry about what they think.”
Seems easy enough on paper, right? But it’s not so simple in practice.
That’s why Dana Miranda brought this question to Kathy Oneto for an episode of her Sustainable Ambition podcast. In the conversation, they unpacked the nuances that standard financial advice tends to ignore, especially when our relationship with work and ambition evolves over time.
Listen to Dana’s conversation with Kathy Oneto
Navigating money after a shift in values
Kathy first applauds this reader for honoring their need for rest and recovery.
“Life is just so intense, and so it’s wonderful you could honor that need for deep rest — that sabbatical — to really feed your soul and recover,” she says.
As Kathy digs deeper, she points to a central thread: This person’s values have shifted.
“It can really be disorienting,” she acknowledges.
Her first recommendation? Reclaim the term “ambition.”
“There’s power in doing that, because the current thinking around ambition is so limiting and can often, very simply, make people feel bad about themselves,” she says.
Kathy shares a few tips for rethinking ambition:
Ambitions change. Rather than thinking about ambition as a fixed personality trait, think about it as a state that ebbs and flows throughout life.
Ambition is not solely about work. It can apply to anything you devote your time, energy and attention to.
Surround yourself with a community that supports your ambitions. This doesn’t require cutting off those who don’t understand your choices. It simply means finding people who can remind you your values are valid.
Finally, it’s impossible to ignore the fact that work and finances are deeply intertwined.
“Each individual needs to make their own choices around that [fact],” Kathy says. “It’s important not to ignore it and just face it straight on and figure out what’s going to work best for you.”
Dana expands on this as a financial educator by encouraging the listener to focus on the real consequences (or results or outcomes) of their actions.
For example, pulling money from an IRA, as the reader mentioned, has implications for your long-term retirement savings. But that doesn’t make the choice “good” or “bad.” Each consequence is neutral.
“Try to ignore the part of financial education that tells you what you should do,” Dana says. “Think about what the consequences are for you, and know you can trust yourself, and you always have permission to do the thing that’s right for you.”
In other words: There’s no perfect outcome. The goal is to choose the path that aligns best with your life, values and vision for yourself — even if that doesn’t fit neatly into traditional advice.
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