Such an interesting conversation. I did change my name when I got married but a big part of that was that I didn’t particularly like my last name. Now we’re divorced but my kids have his name and I still don’t like my old one, so I’ve kept it for now. I’m thinking about changing it completely to my mother’s maiden name, but the admin around that is off putting so have said I’ll do that when they’re 18. I also would never remarry and never take someone’s name again! Hindsight!
I didn't like my old name either so I'm glad to have the same last name as the rest of the family for now, but yeah I am a very different person than I was 20 years ago!
This is a great conversation. I am also from Wisconsin and I am 36. I got married when I was 33, almost 34. My husband is from the Netherlands, and I have also lived in Europe since 2013. We are some of the only couples in our friend groups who are married. We got married because we wanted to; neither one of my husband's parents are remarried, but they have both been in their current partnerships for almost 2 decades. I didn't change my name when I got married and my husband didn't ask permission. My dad did walk me down the aisle to my suprise (but that was something he wanted to do and it wasn't the feminist hill I was going to die upon.) I love being married to my husband because I love our partnership, perhaps even more so because it is so easy in many European countries to simply do a civil union (which many argue is "almost the same thing,") but many folks associate marriage with the church (I do not.)
I think I am so okay with my choices because I made them when I was older. I love what we are building together, and I while I don't identify as a "wife," I love being my husband's wife and being married to him. Thanks for the discourse!
I think I'd probably do differently if I was starting over now too. I'm curious what you might recommend to a non married couple where they each have very different incomes. My sister makes so much less than her partner and she has a diagnosed disability that will get worse every year. She's a hair stylist and doesn't have sick time. My mom and I wish she'd find a different job even a lesser paying job or apply for disability (it would be difficult but I know she'd qualify), but her partner doesn't want any break in her income because of their lifestyle expectations. It's frustrating to watch.
I got married for the first time when I was older than you are now after nine years together. I had been in many serious relationships and been engaged too many times but was always afraid of something. Not being married does give a sense of freedom, of being a self intact within a partnership.
Such an interesting conversation. I did change my name when I got married but a big part of that was that I didn’t particularly like my last name. Now we’re divorced but my kids have his name and I still don’t like my old one, so I’ve kept it for now. I’m thinking about changing it completely to my mother’s maiden name, but the admin around that is off putting so have said I’ll do that when they’re 18. I also would never remarry and never take someone’s name again! Hindsight!
I didn't like my old name either so I'm glad to have the same last name as the rest of the family for now, but yeah I am a very different person than I was 20 years ago!
This is a great conversation. I am also from Wisconsin and I am 36. I got married when I was 33, almost 34. My husband is from the Netherlands, and I have also lived in Europe since 2013. We are some of the only couples in our friend groups who are married. We got married because we wanted to; neither one of my husband's parents are remarried, but they have both been in their current partnerships for almost 2 decades. I didn't change my name when I got married and my husband didn't ask permission. My dad did walk me down the aisle to my suprise (but that was something he wanted to do and it wasn't the feminist hill I was going to die upon.) I love being married to my husband because I love our partnership, perhaps even more so because it is so easy in many European countries to simply do a civil union (which many argue is "almost the same thing,") but many folks associate marriage with the church (I do not.)
I think I am so okay with my choices because I made them when I was older. I love what we are building together, and I while I don't identify as a "wife," I love being my husband's wife and being married to him. Thanks for the discourse!
I think I'd probably do differently if I was starting over now too. I'm curious what you might recommend to a non married couple where they each have very different incomes. My sister makes so much less than her partner and she has a diagnosed disability that will get worse every year. She's a hair stylist and doesn't have sick time. My mom and I wish she'd find a different job even a lesser paying job or apply for disability (it would be difficult but I know she'd qualify), but her partner doesn't want any break in her income because of their lifestyle expectations. It's frustrating to watch.
I despise how much American women rush to drop their original last name when they get married.
I got married for the first time when I was older than you are now after nine years together. I had been in many serious relationships and been engaged too many times but was always afraid of something. Not being married does give a sense of freedom, of being a self intact within a partnership.