This was a synchronously timed read for me. We are living our most expensive years right now with two teenage sons who are both driving (holy car insurance, Batman) + rowing crew (I did not do the math on this sport before our kids fell in love with it). These two kids will be out of our house in the next few years going to college in Canada (dual citizenship for the win = super affordable college tuition + health care is on our horizon). Both kids are rowing at a big deal race in Boston this weekend and I don’t want to miss it. I decided to pay for this trip to Boston from Austin with credit + was up late into the night fretting. What a waste of time. Access to credit is a luxury + privilege and I’m gonna use it to make memories with my kids in the ways that matter most to us: travel, adventure, and time together. Thx for the reminder that saying yes is also one of our family values. I’m gonna get out of my own way + go cheer my kids on this weekend in Boston!
Yay! I am so happy that you are saying yes! It sounds like you have a good handle on what it will cost you to have this experience. And the costs of regret can actually be much higher. What an experience you are about to have!
I’m absolutely crying my eyes out on my morning commute after reading this. Not living with regrets of what if, in my 20s I passed on the chance to live in Spain for the summer with study abroad at my college. And again in law school I missed out on study abroad in London because of my debt aversion and scarcity lack mindset from living in poverty as a child. I’m still healing but it it always best to take this once in a lifetime opportunities that matter more than some Puritanical notion of doing the “right” thing with credit. Live your life!!! I’m still trying to get to Spain, 30 plus years later. Don’t be me.
Thank you for sharing this. I'm really excited for the day you are on the airplane on your way to Spain! :) Feel free to reach out for any and all advice!
Thank you for sharing this! I think I've passed up a lot of similar opportunities throughout my life out of this fear. So grateful for Kristi's story to show that not only is it OK, but that you can make a practical plan to make it work.
Thanks for this, it made me feel so happy. And the crazy thing is, if you have the money it is probably because you are working so much that you may not allow yourself that kind of life-changing experience so saying yes always comes with a high price-tag, but is generally worth it.
Yes! The thing is, we never know right, what is the right choice? Debt without a plan can get dicey real quick. But there are times when a full-body YES just can't be ignored. We have to live this life!
I have the biggest lump in my throat while reading this. Almost all of my debt is from grad school, aka the most selfish, most expensive purchase I have ever made. But I'm the only person I know in my field who actively loves the place they work, and I got this job through those grad school connections. This was such a validating read, thank you.
How lovely, thanks for this comment. Loving where you work - that is certainly worth the investment! Revel in that! Also, though I don't think "selfish" is a bad word, I'm thinking about how much more helpful you can be to others when you are happy with your work. So you actually invested in the health of your community by choosing that grad school.
This was such a great guest essay! It made me so happy. The debt-as-a-resource was one of the concepts I felt a lot of resistance about while reading YNAB but it really helped shift my mindset — this essay really solidified the lesson in such a joyful way. Thanks to Kristi for sharing such a vulnerable and lovely story! And to Dana for bringing it to this space!
Thank you for this! Such a good point. Debt-as-a-resource can feel uncomfortable (probably a good thing, ultimately, to keep us out of too much trouble:) but we only get one spin around this rock, right??
Oui Oui!! What a timely and thoughtful different perspective on opportunity and adventures granted by saying "How can I" instead of "I can't". The world right now seems full of big scary unknowns, and like we are all retracting into ourselves, when we should be reaching out and experiencing all the wonder that is still available to us!
I had the privilege of receiving financial coaching from Kristi last year and will forever be grateful for the gentle way she helped me unlearn so many limiting beliefs I had about money. Mainly transforming my mindset from "Money is an obstacle" to "Money is a tool and a gift".
Forever grateful for Kristi's wise words and her stand in this world!! LOVE LOVE
This is a very joyful and inspiring essay!! As a single mother, I wrestled for decades with high interest debt demons of many shapes and sizes!! Finally, as debt free, single empty-nester, I am planning to partially fund a trip on a credit card with a 12 month interest free period! Currently figuring out the math on paying it off within the interest free window!! Thank you, Kristi, for this story that feels like support for my plans!
Thank you for this joyful story l, Kristi (& Dana). At the age of 28 I finally got to Europe (from Australia!) when I was offered a permanent role at a bank where I was contracting. I declined at first because I wanted to go travelling before 30, so they pointed out I would get a low interest (for the time) pre-approved credit card with a $10k limit, and they threw in my annual leave in advance if I promised to stay the 18 months to work it out. Also, they needed me to go ASAP because they wanted me back to start a project in 2 months. That was on Thursday, and my young husband and I were in London a week later. We sold our car and couldn’t eat out or buy clothes for more than a year after our return, but we never regretted it. And we scored a week in a Paris apartment as our complimentary stopover. It was in the 11th, so no view, but it was wonderful. Like you, Kristi, I was so grateful to have access to credit to have this experience.
So cool! I'm so glad you got to do that! I'm willing to bet that year after you returned, living with a tight budget likely led to some fun and creative ways to manage money as well, yeah?
Hmm… creative with money…. maybe? I learned what was important. I kept my cleaner when everything else discretionary went, except for one cafe coffee and muffin each week. i even walked to work (45 min) as often as I could manage to save on tram fares. I think it was a lesson in values. Also I was more diligent in paying back debt than saving… something I had a lot of shame about.
This was a synchronously timed read for me. We are living our most expensive years right now with two teenage sons who are both driving (holy car insurance, Batman) + rowing crew (I did not do the math on this sport before our kids fell in love with it). These two kids will be out of our house in the next few years going to college in Canada (dual citizenship for the win = super affordable college tuition + health care is on our horizon). Both kids are rowing at a big deal race in Boston this weekend and I don’t want to miss it. I decided to pay for this trip to Boston from Austin with credit + was up late into the night fretting. What a waste of time. Access to credit is a luxury + privilege and I’m gonna use it to make memories with my kids in the ways that matter most to us: travel, adventure, and time together. Thx for the reminder that saying yes is also one of our family values. I’m gonna get out of my own way + go cheer my kids on this weekend in Boston!
Yay! I am so happy that you are saying yes! It sounds like you have a good handle on what it will cost you to have this experience. And the costs of regret can actually be much higher. What an experience you are about to have!
I’m absolutely crying my eyes out on my morning commute after reading this. Not living with regrets of what if, in my 20s I passed on the chance to live in Spain for the summer with study abroad at my college. And again in law school I missed out on study abroad in London because of my debt aversion and scarcity lack mindset from living in poverty as a child. I’m still healing but it it always best to take this once in a lifetime opportunities that matter more than some Puritanical notion of doing the “right” thing with credit. Live your life!!! I’m still trying to get to Spain, 30 plus years later. Don’t be me.
Thank you for sharing this. I'm really excited for the day you are on the airplane on your way to Spain! :) Feel free to reach out for any and all advice!
Thank you for sharing this! I think I've passed up a lot of similar opportunities throughout my life out of this fear. So grateful for Kristi's story to show that not only is it OK, but that you can make a practical plan to make it work.
so moving and joyful
Thank you for this comment! I still feel the joy of that summer.
Thanks for this, it made me feel so happy. And the crazy thing is, if you have the money it is probably because you are working so much that you may not allow yourself that kind of life-changing experience so saying yes always comes with a high price-tag, but is generally worth it.
Yes! The thing is, we never know right, what is the right choice? Debt without a plan can get dicey real quick. But there are times when a full-body YES just can't be ignored. We have to live this life!
I have the biggest lump in my throat while reading this. Almost all of my debt is from grad school, aka the most selfish, most expensive purchase I have ever made. But I'm the only person I know in my field who actively loves the place they work, and I got this job through those grad school connections. This was such a validating read, thank you.
How lovely, thanks for this comment. Loving where you work - that is certainly worth the investment! Revel in that! Also, though I don't think "selfish" is a bad word, I'm thinking about how much more helpful you can be to others when you are happy with your work. So you actually invested in the health of your community by choosing that grad school.
This was such a great guest essay! It made me so happy. The debt-as-a-resource was one of the concepts I felt a lot of resistance about while reading YNAB but it really helped shift my mindset — this essay really solidified the lesson in such a joyful way. Thanks to Kristi for sharing such a vulnerable and lovely story! And to Dana for bringing it to this space!
Thank you for this! Such a good point. Debt-as-a-resource can feel uncomfortable (probably a good thing, ultimately, to keep us out of too much trouble:) but we only get one spin around this rock, right??
Oui Oui!! What a timely and thoughtful different perspective on opportunity and adventures granted by saying "How can I" instead of "I can't". The world right now seems full of big scary unknowns, and like we are all retracting into ourselves, when we should be reaching out and experiencing all the wonder that is still available to us!
I had the privilege of receiving financial coaching from Kristi last year and will forever be grateful for the gentle way she helped me unlearn so many limiting beliefs I had about money. Mainly transforming my mindset from "Money is an obstacle" to "Money is a tool and a gift".
Forever grateful for Kristi's wise words and her stand in this world!! LOVE LOVE
That's so great to hear! I'm so happy to connect with Kristi and grateful for her story here.
Love the reframe to "how can I"!
Amirra. My heart. LOVE LOVE
This is a very joyful and inspiring essay!! As a single mother, I wrestled for decades with high interest debt demons of many shapes and sizes!! Finally, as debt free, single empty-nester, I am planning to partially fund a trip on a credit card with a 12 month interest free period! Currently figuring out the math on paying it off within the interest free window!! Thank you, Kristi, for this story that feels like support for my plans!
Thanks, Meredith! It's all about the plan! I'm excited to hear more about this trip!
What a beautiful story!!! I enjoyed living vicariously through you. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for reading and for your lovely comment!
Thank you for this joyful story l, Kristi (& Dana). At the age of 28 I finally got to Europe (from Australia!) when I was offered a permanent role at a bank where I was contracting. I declined at first because I wanted to go travelling before 30, so they pointed out I would get a low interest (for the time) pre-approved credit card with a $10k limit, and they threw in my annual leave in advance if I promised to stay the 18 months to work it out. Also, they needed me to go ASAP because they wanted me back to start a project in 2 months. That was on Thursday, and my young husband and I were in London a week later. We sold our car and couldn’t eat out or buy clothes for more than a year after our return, but we never regretted it. And we scored a week in a Paris apartment as our complimentary stopover. It was in the 11th, so no view, but it was wonderful. Like you, Kristi, I was so grateful to have access to credit to have this experience.
So cool! I'm so glad you got to do that! I'm willing to bet that year after you returned, living with a tight budget likely led to some fun and creative ways to manage money as well, yeah?
Hmm… creative with money…. maybe? I learned what was important. I kept my cleaner when everything else discretionary went, except for one cafe coffee and muffin each week. i even walked to work (45 min) as often as I could manage to save on tram fares. I think it was a lesson in values. Also I was more diligent in paying back debt than saving… something I had a lot of shame about.
Yes! Those moments bring out our values - which is so valuable! :)